A Word Worth Learning About

There is this one woman who stands out in my mind as a remarkable mentor and a powerful and prayerful friend from my past. She always used her words concisely and consistently to reiterate her feelings, problems, solutions, or whatever it was that she was talking about. She always had the right word to say at exactly the right time. Usually it was just one word. And that one word summed up everything I needed at that moment. Be it "Peace," "Grace," "Hope," "Strength," or whatever, she knew exactly which word was needed.

At Bible Studies and in Discipleship Group meetings, she would always ask for one word that described my week. Then for one word that I needed her to pray for me that week. I was in high school at the time and immature in my faith so the words would sometimes be things like "Grades," "Boys," or something seemingly silly to me now. But as I grew in my faith the words began to carry more weight. They became words like "Strength," "Patience," "Faith," or "Peace." I remember one Christmas after the girls in my D-group had had a particularly rough year, I made them each a mirror with a word painted over the entire surface so that their reflection was hampered in view of the word. Each word was unique to each girl and matched with a scripture verse that was printed on the bottom of the mirror. 

Those words had power. For many reasons, but the sheer fact that they were connected with and deeply rooted in Truth (with a capital T from God's word) meant they have power. This is something I learned long before I was even Mrs. Brooks. The words I want to express now I have learned along the way to becoming Mrs. Brooks through all the things that come with being married and out of the nest.

The first word is PRIDE.

The things I have learned about pride surprise me. But that makes sense seeing as how pride blinds people. Its no wonder I didn't know these things before. I never much thought of myself as a prideful person. I grew up knowing the verse from James 4:6 that "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." I always (thought) I was grateful for the things I had, knowing that many others did not have the same small luxuries like both parents, shoes, and fast food. I've been all over the country and to a few places outside the country and seen people who certainly do not have those things and still had God and Joy! To God be the Glory for that. I have no reason to boast. 

But then I graduated from college. To understand this, you have to know that I'm a middle child. Not that my sisters are terrible. They are wonderful sisters and people. I just always competed with them in my mind. But when I graduated college my mindset changed. I started feeling as if I had out shone my older sister who did not finish college (who, I might add, has been quite successful nonetheless and is my role model as far as that goes). And while the whole family has high hopes for my little sister, I got to graduate college first. Score 1 for Lea's pride. 

Then I got a job. Score 2. Then I got married. Score 3. Then I got a house. Score 4 and so on and so forth until, before I knew it, I felt entitled to something I had no right to even want. I was building myself up in my head until I nearly exploded.

 The point where I felt the most entitled and proud was our house. Jeff and I had managed to find a beautiful little secluded, fairly large house to rent for a considerably cheap price right after we got married. Before that, we had been living with my grandpa in a nearby city and that was great at first because we were helping him out and he was helping us out. But still I felt entitled to a place of our own. We were gonna get a place of our own because we deserved it and wanted it and that was that!  Turns out however, that everything we want to do, and everyone we want to see is in there and we're not. Lea's pride lost a point there. We began looking for places to rent closer to the city so we could have those luxuries like fast food and friends and still have a place of our own. Not that those are bad. Just that I AM BLESSED to have them and should not forget that like I've gotten in the habit of doing. 

When we couldn't find anything in our price range in the location we wanted we began to consider moving back in with my grandpa. An idea that I scorned. I dreaded what that would mean for me. Well, for my pride at least. It felt like admitting defeat. Like we were saying we couldn't make it on our own and we need help. Which is not untrue but it feels bad in my pride bone when I think about it like that! However, God has brought me to a point where I now realize that there are many more important things in this world than whether or not I have my own place. 

I don't NEED accolades from my resume or college or even a job that "does" something. And I don't NEED my own place! If I can brighten the day of those in my office who don't know Christ, then I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to do. And living with my grandpa, that major pride busting move, is going to be mutually beneficial. God has brought me back from my little detour to a place where I can admit that something is more important than the pride I gain from having my own place. 

There was not a radical wave of revelation about pride that overcame me one day. Just subtle things the LORD used to remind me what is important that ultimately led me to expressing this one word to sum up my recent experiences. I've been prideful. I'm trying to inhibit those feelings and change my mindset back to fix my thoughts on "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable" (Phil 4:8). 

Thanks for sharing my journey out of pride with me. Look for the next word soon. TRUST.